BSFs

I started Beauty School (Cosmetology at Idaho State University) in August 2010. My first semester was in a class room with 16 other females ranging in age from 18 to 35. Wendi and I found each other among these younger girls right away and became BBSFs (Best Beauty School Friends) I had a really tough first semester getting in routine with my kids and figuring out that it is really ok for my house to not be in total order and trying to balance my kids my husband my two part time jobs and school. Our program is Monday thru Friday 8 am to 5 pm so it is like a full time job. I have learned so much this year not only from my friendship with Wendi but from these amazing young girls who are just starting their journey into being adults. My heart has been touched by so many of them and I am so grateful to met them! This past semester I am on the floor working with clients. And I love love cutting hair!!!! Color work is fun too but cutting is in my heart for sure! I graduate in December 2011 and I am so excited! My BBSF Wendi will not be graduating with me... in fact she is not coming back next semester.... My heart is swelling because I am going to miss her. She has been such a huge part of my every day life... I am sure we started school at the same time to meet each other so we can be friends forever and forever! I love my BBSF!!! (This photo was taken at the drag Queen Show in IF)

2010 Misc Photos

Parker at his 1st Pinewood Derby.

Randy and I at the Drag Queen Show.

Randy and I dressed up for the Moulin Rouge Party at Flipside Lounge. Randy loves to sing at Open Mic Night at Flipside. And my three beautiful kids at Halloween 2010.

Easter Weekend

A few times a year The Kunkel Clan gets together. My big brother, his wife and six kids come up from Utah and my sister, her hubby and their two kids come over from Twin Falls (David, his wife and new daughter and Me and My family live here). My children love love and look forward to these weekends with cousins! I love how all my kids have at least one cousin that they are close to in age and or personality. Over Easter weekend we planned a baby shower for my brothers wife Christina, an easter egg hunt for the kiddos and the men decided to build a tree house! Of course the tree house was the hit of the weekend and will give our kids many many years of fun good times at Oma and Opa's house!

Tough Love

It is so hard to choose something different from your family. Today I had an ahhh ha were I felt alot of compassion for new members of the church whos families disown them for joining the church. We have been getting flooded by our families need to express their opinions on our life choices that do not fall in place with the church.

I understand our families love us and they believe everything they express to us. I love our family. I love that they feel so strongly about their belief system. I would never ask them to change the way the feel and or believe. But my heart is breaking. I am at a loss.

We are being very open and honest with our selves and our choices.... an honesty that was not in our marriage for eight years. This honesty has freed us from so much. This honesty has given me the opportunity to form my very own opinion about many things.

Alot of my opinions do not mesh with the church. It took alot of soul searching for me to come to terms and step away from the church I grew up with.

Our family has a misunderstanding that we are just playing now and will repent later. I do not feel like any of my actions need repenting. I do not hurt my man kind, I am honest, true to my self, caring towards others, I love to serve my fellow man, I am an amazing mother, wife, friend, sister, aunt, daughter.....

So I ask my family if you feel the need to express your feelings and beliefs on MY choices please keep it to your self. Believe me I KNOW how you feel. If you are curious about my beliefs and or choices please just ask me. If you feel the need to pray for us... please do! My Father in Heaven blesses me every day and I would never deny more blessing.

For Randy and Ginny's birthday weekend we went to Lava Hot pools. We had so much fun with the camera going under water! I love love the pic of Randy and Ashton! Two of my favorite boys!!!!

One Crazy Year

I can not believe it has been a year since I have posted anything! What a year it has been! I will really try to do better but I think the year ahead will be even crazier for us but in a much better way!

I had my surro baby on November 13. My water broke and it was the first and maybe the biggest storm of the year. His mom and dad had a long drive from MN and missed his arrival. They were on the phone while I delivered and we recorded everything. Jadd was 8 lb 4 oz.... and perfectly healthy. The next morning when his mom and dad arrived was one of the most amazing moments of my life. When his mom picked him up their eyes locked and they both knew.... that was his mom and he was her son. It was beautiful. Everything I had been searching for... was in that one moment. You dont need DNA or you dont need to carry a baby for that baby to be yours. I had come full circle in this long journey.

Now you must know my head and my heart did not want or need baby Jadd.... but this body of mine struggled... I tried to jump right back into the swing of things but this only made things worst. In hind sight I realize I should have relaxed and embraced all the feeling that came. I am grateful for the great people in my life that loved me through it and did not give up on me. I had lots of people give up on me this winter... it weighed hard on me but in the end my life is fuller and richer with out them in it.

Through this struggle of mine to need an identity I decided to go back to school. It may be 11 years late but I am sooooooo excited! I start in just a few days at ISU in the Cosmetology program. I am nervous. I am nervous on how to balance school, my babies and my handsome husband. Randy is so super supportive and ready to pick up the slack. I am really not sure how I could live this life with out him...

I have filled this summer with lots of busy fun for me and the kids. Randy and I have also been enjoying our time together. We have attended some amazing theme parties at our fav bar in town. We have been so lucky to have met some super amazing people... we have our fingers crossed that we have found some great friends. I must go and be a mommy today. I will try and post some summer pics. And not let another year go by with out an update!

Our weekend get away

Randy and I flew to Phoenix this weekend to visit our friends Jay and Liz. On Saturday we went to Sedona for the day and played on Slide Rock. What a great day and week end!
Pregnant Belly

No Doubt

On Monday we took Parker to his first concert ever. In December of 2001 Randy and I went to U2 and No Doubt in Salt Lake. Randy won the tickets by shaving his head and glueing a wig to his head during a live radio program. It is still to this day one of the BEST concerts we have ever been to (and if you know us we have been to ALOT) One week after this concert we found out we were pregnant with Parker. So when we heard No Doubt was coming to SLC we thought it would be the perfect first concert for Parker. We had GA tickets on the floor and made it all the way to the front. Parker and I were very tired after the first two bands and 1/3 of No Doubt so we jumped the front bar and went to the back of the crowd. On this YouTube clip you can see Randy and how close we were.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qGyH8tfXn0&feature=related

Family Photos

We had these photos taken in November but in the move we lost the disk. But low and behold we found it! Here are a few to enjoy!

One Healthy Baby

We went to Boise this past weekend for my last appointment with the fertility clinic. The baby's parents flew in for this appointment. With the ultrasound we were able to see ONE healthy wonderful baby moving its head and arms. The other baby did not make it past 8 weeks. I am so grateful for the faith and love of the baby's parents. This baby is going to a home with parents who are going to love him or her and give every thing and more that he or she will ever need.

Our little Super Hero Ashton

On March 31 our Ashton had Open Heart Surgery. They went it through his sternum sawing it in half. He was on a heart and lung machine (bypass) , they put his body on Ice and lowered his body temp to 17 degrees. They told us the surgery would take 5-8 hours. We said good bye to our baby at 7:30am and his surgery began at about 9 am. We received hour updates and at 12 noon they told us he was done with surgery and they were taking him off bypass. Only three hours!! At 1:15 the doctor came and talked with us telling us every thing went so smoothly and that Ashton's heart is a really strong heart. Relief swept over both of us. At about 1:45 we saw Ashton. He was still on the breathing machine although trying to wake up. He opened his eyes and saw Randy with in mins of us getting to him and mouthed the words 'daddy'. I knew at that moment EVERY THING was going to be fine. He had three drainage tubes coming out of his chest, one in each lung and one in his heart. He had a cath for his pee. He had 4 Iv lines, one in his heart, one in his neck, one in an arm and one in a foot. He was also on alot of monitors to keep track of everything else. He was not able to move with all this in so I spent alot of the first two days in the bed with him, it seemed the only way to keep him happy. He did so well and each day we saw such improvement. On Thursday they moved us from the ICU to the recovery floor. It was like going to a luxury suite! He did even better in his own room and they sent us home on Sat morning! what we were told would take 10 days only took 5. Ashton is our super hero and we thank our Heavenly Father every day for him. He is doing great at home although it is really hard to keep a 3 year old from jumping every where! Thank you so much to every one for their out pouring of love and prayers.

TWO BABIES!!

We just found out I have two babies in my tummy!! So exciting for A and M!! I will be sleeping soundly on Thanksgiving and they will be taking care of two beautiful babies! This is the best feeling to know I can give them just what they want! And that they can know how amazing it is to be a mommy nad daddy!!

Knocked Up!

I have been working with another couple since right before Christmas and I am so very happy to say I am pregnant!! I can't stop eating and I KNOW that I have a good three months before that should happen! My kids think it is great that I am doing this for someone else. Parker told me the other day he did not want any more siblings because he already has to share me with two. So smart that boy. Ginny lays on my belly and talks to the baby already. Ashton is Ashton, as long as he gets me when ever he wants he is good. I was on bed rest or restricted activity (I stayed in bed for a week...Thank you Kristin for coming a taking care of me and my kids)for a week and Ashton was not happy about that but he dealt with it. A and M are so excited to have their family grow. This will be their first child. I am already feeling the joy that will come when they are handed their precious baby. 8 months of good cooking and they will have their baby right before Thanksgiving. What a Grand opportunity this is for me!

FYI Our March and April is gonna be busy

Someday our life will slow down...but not any time soon. At the end of March my little fire cracker Ashton is having Open Heart Surgery at Primary Children's Medical Center in Salt Lake City, Utah. I am so thankful for all my friends in Utah who are going to help me with Ginny while we are done there and my family here in Idaho who are helping with Parker. Ashton will be in the ICU for about 5 days after his surgery and 5 more days in recovery for a total of at least 10 days in the hospital. Randy and I are so excited for this surgery because it will fix him for good (cross your fingers) and our little boy will finally have the energy and strength to be a toddler and act like one. Once again we ask for your prayers. We have all the faith in the world that this is the best thing for Ashton and the amazing doctors at PCMC can fix him. Thanks again for all your love a support!

Our Princess turns 5

When Parker turned 5 and 6 it was exciting but for some reason when Ginny turned 5 this week I started feeling REALLY OLD! I can not believe my little girl is 5. I remember so clearly her as a baby and now she loves barbies and princesses and getting her nails painted!! What a girly girl she is! The day before her birthday her and I went to the cosmitoligy school and both of us received manicures and pedicures. It was so fun!!

On her birthday we had such a busy fun day! At preschool it was her Valentines Day Party and then that night we invited a few friends and family over for cake and ice cream! A big Thank you to Costco for the custom little mermaid cake!

What a Month!

December is pretty busy and crazy for almost every one. Well on top of the usual holiday fun we bought a house, sanded, primed, painted and then glazed our kitchen cabinets, painted two bed rooms, tiled the kitchen, dining room and laundry room and then installed hard wood through out the rest of the up stair (excluding bedrooms). Then we moved in. Christmas was some where in all that. Last week Randy and I had a great opportunity to go to Denver for a few days. It was Leadership Conference with that great direct Sales Company I work for (if I say their name I get an email requesting me to remove their name....rules) and since airfare was only $100 round trip I had to take Randy with me. So we got home late Saturday night and then Monday morning at 3 am we had to drive to SLC for Ashton's Heart Cath. BUSY!!! Monday was a tough day. THANK YOU to every one who remembered and called or texted. It meant so much to Randy and I to be reminded of all the people who love us. Ashton did great, ok he did amazing. He is 3 years old and had to lay in the hospital bed for 6 hours after his surgery keeping his leg straight!!! What 3 year old can do that??? Well he did great! They found his heart is strong enough for any surgery and they ballooned an artiery while in there as well as closing off a few abnormal blood vessels. Now we must wait. Wait to see if the balloon helps him at all. This week has been rough and we don't see positive change but the doctor told us we can not tell until next week. So we wait.
Thank you again for all your love and support. We are so blessed.

Heart Surgery here we come......

I guess when it rains it pours. Ashton had a routine echo at Primary Childrens last Thursday and his shunt has closed. We knew the shunt would close at some point and we are so greatful that he is not blue and we did not have to life flight him down to PCMC. The doctor wants to get him fixed in the next 6 weeks. So January 12 they will go into his heart with a cath and measure his heart and arteries to make sure they can with stand a major heart surgery. I have been preparing my self for the past three years for this..... and I am not prepared at all. Ashton is the strongest kid I know and he will do amazing through everything....I am sure of it. I have one big favor from everyone who loves us....say a prayer...say lots of prayers.

Randy bought me a house!!!

Amoungst all the sadness that has surrounded us with me not being pregnant there is some sunshine. Randy bought me a house!! Since I am unemployed Randy is the one buying the house!! I love it and I can't wait to make it my own. We are going to do some work on it before we move in, like new hard wood floors and some new tile and some paint. We will close on it right before Christmas and move in after the new year. Everyone is invited up next year to come and stay with us!!!!

So very Sad

Well I am not pregnant. I am so very confused because I felt like I was pregnant. All my love goes out to D and V. I really wanted to give you a baby. I don't know what we will do from here. All I know is I want them in my life forever as dear friends.

Baby Mama Tara

It all started about one year ago. Ashton had been struggling with PICA and had a blood transfusion, he was finally feeling better and this grateful mother wanted to give back in some way because I felt so blessed. So many strangers had helped Ashton, from doctors and nurses to the strangers that donated blood so my baby could get better. Randy and I knew we were done having our own children, (I had gotten my tubes tied six months before that time) and I LOVE being pregnant....I know crazy. So as I searched the wonderful world of the Internet I came across surrogacy. And as Randy and I talked about it we felt so good about it. I first applied with a huge company....#1 in the nation based out of Boston....well they were way too big for me...I felt like a number and this was kinda a big deal for me. I found this company based in Star, Idaho.....and it felt so right. I am an Idaho girl and I need a company who gets my simple yet busy crazy life. Well after I was cleared medically on paper it did not take too long for me to be matched. I spoke with D on the phone first. Then I had to get clearance from a therapist to make sure I wasn't crazy. And yes I did pass that! V and D flew me and the owner of the company out to sunny southern Cali to meet them and get physical medical clearance from the doctor, this was in June. When I met D I knew at that moment I was going to have her baby. It was a little overwhelming to have such strong feelings about people I had just met. I felt as if I had known them my entire life. Now I was invested so much in them....Giving them another child so they could feel the completeness Randy and I feel with our children. Well between life, vacations, jobs, moving, and just plain timing we finally had the transfer on Monday November 17. Randy and I drove our children to Boise to stay with their AMAZING Aunt Becky and Uncle Paul while we were on this adventure. It was so nice to have our kids with someone who loves them so much and took care of them so well.....we all know black eyes happen!! really they do when you are 2!! or 3 or 4.......
We flew to Southern Cali on Sat night, had an amazing time Sunday eating the best food we have ever had with the best company. D arranged the best massage I have EVER had. I felt so pampered. Monday morning was the transfer. It was so smooth and easy...quite amazing if I may say so. After the transfer I had acupuncture, and as I was laying on this bed with needles in my back and legs I had the most amazing feeling come over me. I was right where I needed to be, right there in that moment. and it felt so good. After a year of searching for that feeling I finally received it. I am pretty sure I am pregnant right now and I can't wait to hand a beautiful healthy baby to V and D. We will find out next week for sure but in the mean time if you pray please pray for this family, if you don't then sent good thoughts out into the universe for this amazing family.