Tough Love

It is so hard to choose something different from your family. Today I had an ahhh ha were I felt alot of compassion for new members of the church whos families disown them for joining the church. We have been getting flooded by our families need to express their opinions on our life choices that do not fall in place with the church.

I understand our families love us and they believe everything they express to us. I love our family. I love that they feel so strongly about their belief system. I would never ask them to change the way the feel and or believe. But my heart is breaking. I am at a loss.

We are being very open and honest with our selves and our choices.... an honesty that was not in our marriage for eight years. This honesty has freed us from so much. This honesty has given me the opportunity to form my very own opinion about many things.

Alot of my opinions do not mesh with the church. It took alot of soul searching for me to come to terms and step away from the church I grew up with.

Our family has a misunderstanding that we are just playing now and will repent later. I do not feel like any of my actions need repenting. I do not hurt my man kind, I am honest, true to my self, caring towards others, I love to serve my fellow man, I am an amazing mother, wife, friend, sister, aunt, daughter.....

So I ask my family if you feel the need to express your feelings and beliefs on MY choices please keep it to your self. Believe me I KNOW how you feel. If you are curious about my beliefs and or choices please just ask me. If you feel the need to pray for us... please do! My Father in Heaven blesses me every day and I would never deny more blessing.

For Randy and Ginny's birthday weekend we went to Lava Hot pools. We had so much fun with the camera going under water! I love love the pic of Randy and Ashton! Two of my favorite boys!!!!

One Crazy Year

I can not believe it has been a year since I have posted anything! What a year it has been! I will really try to do better but I think the year ahead will be even crazier for us but in a much better way!

I had my surro baby on November 13. My water broke and it was the first and maybe the biggest storm of the year. His mom and dad had a long drive from MN and missed his arrival. They were on the phone while I delivered and we recorded everything. Jadd was 8 lb 4 oz.... and perfectly healthy. The next morning when his mom and dad arrived was one of the most amazing moments of my life. When his mom picked him up their eyes locked and they both knew.... that was his mom and he was her son. It was beautiful. Everything I had been searching for... was in that one moment. You dont need DNA or you dont need to carry a baby for that baby to be yours. I had come full circle in this long journey.

Now you must know my head and my heart did not want or need baby Jadd.... but this body of mine struggled... I tried to jump right back into the swing of things but this only made things worst. In hind sight I realize I should have relaxed and embraced all the feeling that came. I am grateful for the great people in my life that loved me through it and did not give up on me. I had lots of people give up on me this winter... it weighed hard on me but in the end my life is fuller and richer with out them in it.

Through this struggle of mine to need an identity I decided to go back to school. It may be 11 years late but I am sooooooo excited! I start in just a few days at ISU in the Cosmetology program. I am nervous. I am nervous on how to balance school, my babies and my handsome husband. Randy is so super supportive and ready to pick up the slack. I am really not sure how I could live this life with out him...

I have filled this summer with lots of busy fun for me and the kids. Randy and I have also been enjoying our time together. We have attended some amazing theme parties at our fav bar in town. We have been so lucky to have met some super amazing people... we have our fingers crossed that we have found some great friends. I must go and be a mommy today. I will try and post some summer pics. And not let another year go by with out an update!

Our weekend get away

Randy and I flew to Phoenix this weekend to visit our friends Jay and Liz. On Saturday we went to Sedona for the day and played on Slide Rock. What a great day and week end!
Pregnant Belly

No Doubt

On Monday we took Parker to his first concert ever. In December of 2001 Randy and I went to U2 and No Doubt in Salt Lake. Randy won the tickets by shaving his head and glueing a wig to his head during a live radio program. It is still to this day one of the BEST concerts we have ever been to (and if you know us we have been to ALOT) One week after this concert we found out we were pregnant with Parker. So when we heard No Doubt was coming to SLC we thought it would be the perfect first concert for Parker. We had GA tickets on the floor and made it all the way to the front. Parker and I were very tired after the first two bands and 1/3 of No Doubt so we jumped the front bar and went to the back of the crowd. On this YouTube clip you can see Randy and how close we were.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qGyH8tfXn0&feature=related

Family Photos

We had these photos taken in November but in the move we lost the disk. But low and behold we found it! Here are a few to enjoy!

One Healthy Baby

We went to Boise this past weekend for my last appointment with the fertility clinic. The baby's parents flew in for this appointment. With the ultrasound we were able to see ONE healthy wonderful baby moving its head and arms. The other baby did not make it past 8 weeks. I am so grateful for the faith and love of the baby's parents. This baby is going to a home with parents who are going to love him or her and give every thing and more that he or she will ever need.