Heart Surgery here we come......

I guess when it rains it pours. Ashton had a routine echo at Primary Childrens last Thursday and his shunt has closed. We knew the shunt would close at some point and we are so greatful that he is not blue and we did not have to life flight him down to PCMC. The doctor wants to get him fixed in the next 6 weeks. So January 12 they will go into his heart with a cath and measure his heart and arteries to make sure they can with stand a major heart surgery. I have been preparing my self for the past three years for this..... and I am not prepared at all. Ashton is the strongest kid I know and he will do amazing through everything....I am sure of it. I have one big favor from everyone who loves us....say a prayer...say lots of prayers.

Randy bought me a house!!!

Amoungst all the sadness that has surrounded us with me not being pregnant there is some sunshine. Randy bought me a house!! Since I am unemployed Randy is the one buying the house!! I love it and I can't wait to make it my own. We are going to do some work on it before we move in, like new hard wood floors and some new tile and some paint. We will close on it right before Christmas and move in after the new year. Everyone is invited up next year to come and stay with us!!!!

So very Sad

Well I am not pregnant. I am so very confused because I felt like I was pregnant. All my love goes out to D and V. I really wanted to give you a baby. I don't know what we will do from here. All I know is I want them in my life forever as dear friends.

Baby Mama Tara

It all started about one year ago. Ashton had been struggling with PICA and had a blood transfusion, he was finally feeling better and this grateful mother wanted to give back in some way because I felt so blessed. So many strangers had helped Ashton, from doctors and nurses to the strangers that donated blood so my baby could get better. Randy and I knew we were done having our own children, (I had gotten my tubes tied six months before that time) and I LOVE being pregnant....I know crazy. So as I searched the wonderful world of the Internet I came across surrogacy. And as Randy and I talked about it we felt so good about it. I first applied with a huge company....#1 in the nation based out of Boston....well they were way too big for me...I felt like a number and this was kinda a big deal for me. I found this company based in Star, Idaho.....and it felt so right. I am an Idaho girl and I need a company who gets my simple yet busy crazy life. Well after I was cleared medically on paper it did not take too long for me to be matched. I spoke with D on the phone first. Then I had to get clearance from a therapist to make sure I wasn't crazy. And yes I did pass that! V and D flew me and the owner of the company out to sunny southern Cali to meet them and get physical medical clearance from the doctor, this was in June. When I met D I knew at that moment I was going to have her baby. It was a little overwhelming to have such strong feelings about people I had just met. I felt as if I had known them my entire life. Now I was invested so much in them....Giving them another child so they could feel the completeness Randy and I feel with our children. Well between life, vacations, jobs, moving, and just plain timing we finally had the transfer on Monday November 17. Randy and I drove our children to Boise to stay with their AMAZING Aunt Becky and Uncle Paul while we were on this adventure. It was so nice to have our kids with someone who loves them so much and took care of them so well.....we all know black eyes happen!! really they do when you are 2!! or 3 or 4.......
We flew to Southern Cali on Sat night, had an amazing time Sunday eating the best food we have ever had with the best company. D arranged the best massage I have EVER had. I felt so pampered. Monday morning was the transfer. It was so smooth and easy...quite amazing if I may say so. After the transfer I had acupuncture, and as I was laying on this bed with needles in my back and legs I had the most amazing feeling come over me. I was right where I needed to be, right there in that moment. and it felt so good. After a year of searching for that feeling I finally received it. I am pretty sure I am pregnant right now and I can't wait to hand a beautiful healthy baby to V and D. We will find out next week for sure but in the mean time if you pray please pray for this family, if you don't then sent good thoughts out into the universe for this amazing family.

Good times in a GREAT house!

This picture is almost 3 years old and our Kunkel Clan has grown by 2 soon to be 3. But it was taken in front of our house in Clinton, Utah. Randy and I bought this home in Sept 2003 and sold in 5 years later this past week closing on my birthday. It was a sad and happy day. We are thrilled to have our house Sold yet it was so hard because I painted every wall in that house, I planted every bush and tree and every flower, I love this house and we had made it everything we wanted. We have been half heartedly looking at houses here and nothing is the same. I am glad it is not the house that makes a HOME and I will have yet another opportunity to put my magical touches on another house and make it our HOME.

Hunting for the perfect Pumpkin

After searching far and wide for a pumpkin patch we finally found one in Chubbuck! And we thought that next year we should plant our own pumpkin patch here at Oma's house for next year.

Happy Halloween!!

Randy and I went down to Utah for a little Halloween Party with our friends. It was so fun watching Indiana Jones find his shadow!! These two amazing ladies are two of my very best friends. I miss having them so close!! I am soooo lucky to have them in my life!!

Good Bye Katie

It was a sad day in the Tolman family last Friday. Our little dog Katie died. We have no idea how but we found her cold and dead that evening. We burried her in Oma amd Opa's yard and the kids picked out rocks to place on her grave. We all said what we loved about Katie and a little prayer. I have had many pets in my life leave this world but this one was hard mostly because my children really struggled with it. Andie(our boxer) misses her the most. Our pets truly become part of our family and as much as I groaned about Katie chewing everyones shoes and screen doors and well anything she could I will miss the joy she brought into my family's life. In this photo the kids are sitting on the rocks they helped pick out to place on Katie's grave.

Tag! You are It!

I am soooo new to this blogging world and dear SWEET Emliy tags me!? ok well here is 7 random things about me. I don't think I know 7 people who blog....yet so who I know will have to do!

1. I am going to have a baby for an amazing family in Cali. (my family is complete and I want to give that to someone else!)

2. I have hot pink hair right now....it may be a different color next week?!!

3. I want to learn how to paint.

4. I have 1 tatoo and would like more.....

5. I LOVE Halloween! and Fall it is so beautiful! This is my absolute favorite time of year!

6. my ears are ticklish.....

7. I have so many friends in Utah that have touched my heart and my life forever. I am scared to death that I will loose touch with them so I am going to try my hardest not to.

Okay I am going to tag

1. Jori 2. Jared 3. Jessica 4. Cheri 5. Natalie 6. Jana

Feels like Home!

I (with the help of my not so little brother David) packed up the Uhaul and moved me and the kids to Pocatello. As I was driving this huge truck with my toes (I have such short legs) and no cruise control, I crossed the Utah Idaho boarder and I had an overwhelming feeling come over me. I was Home! Idaho is Home! So there I am driving this Uhaul with Parker and Ginny asleep next to me crying my eyes out. It was a good cry to know I am home. This past week had many mixed emotions, I said good bye to some amazing people who are so very important in my life, and in the same breath I was so ready to be back with Randy. Parker woke up last week crying asking when are we going to be a family again? I told him we are always a family and he said no mom when are we all going to live together again? I am so greatful it was only 3 weeks we had to live apart. So now that 3 weeks of crying and packing by myself is a memory and we are here in Pocatello at my mom's house. It is so beautiful up here with all the leaves turning colors. The dogs love running everywhere....so do the children. Parker started school yesterday and loves it, now I just need to find a preschool for Ginny. It feels so good to be calm and settled.

My sister Amber had her 2nd baby Kodi Nichole on September 9 and I invited her and the kids down to my house for a few days of no cooking and cleaning. (my three children, me, Amber & Dan and their two children in their farm house does not equal rest and relaxation!) As we were taking cute pictures of Kodi (see next photo) my Ashton was getting a little jealous and would not leave me alone until I took a picture of him....and it was so cute I had to show everyone! You would never know by looking at this amazing kid what he has gone through in his short 2 1/2 years!

The World's Best Hubby Lubby!!

So yes it has only been a week since we left Randy in Pocatello, BUT it has been the longest week of my life. There is a reason for two parents, when one is about to go crazy the other steps in like a super hero. Well our Super Hero surprised us on Saturday night while we were shopping for Halloween costumes. I needed the short yet fantastic moment with my other half!! Thank you Randy for knowing just what I needed!

Here we go!

Okay so we did the myspace thing, Randy is on facebook, now we will see if we can blog! The kids and I are currently living in Utah with out our main man, Randy has worked for Costco for 9 years and was promoted to be a manager at the new warehouse in Pocatello, Idaho. He started work on this monday and is loving it so far! I am here to tie up loose ends, our children and I will join him in 2 weeks. Since this is a blog I can say I miss him like crazy and I HATE being a single mom. I NEED my other half! But I only have two more weeks of being as strong as I can all by my self. We can't wait to be settled TOGETHER back in Idaho.