I had my surro baby on November 13. My water broke and it was the first and maybe the biggest storm of the year. His mom and dad had a long drive from MN and missed his arrival. They were on the phone while I delivered and we recorded everything. Jadd was 8 lb 4 oz.... and perfectly healthy. The next morning when his mom and dad arrived was one of the most amazing moments of my life. When his mom picked him up their eyes locked and they both knew.... that was his mom and he was her son. It was beautiful. Everything I had been searching for... was in that one moment. You dont need DNA or you dont need to carry a baby for that baby to be yours. I had come full circle in this long journey.
Now you must know my head and my heart did not want or need baby Jadd.... but this body of mine struggled... I tried to jump right back into the swing of things but this only made things worst. In hind sight I realize I should have relaxed and embraced all the feeling that came. I am grateful for the great people in my life that loved me through it and did not give up on me. I had lots of people give up on me this winter... it weighed hard on me but in the end my life is fuller and richer with out them in it.
Through this struggle of mine to need an identity I decided to go back to school. It may be 11 years late but I am sooooooo excited! I start in just a few days at ISU in the Cosmetology program. I am nervous. I am nervous on how to balance school, my babies and my handsome husband. Randy is so super supportive and ready to pick up the slack. I am really not sure how I could live this life with out him...
I have filled this summer with lots of busy fun for me and the kids. Randy and I have also been enjoying our time together. We have attended some amazing theme parties at our fav bar in town. We have been so lucky to have met some super amazing people... we have our fingers crossed that we have found some great friends. I must go and be a mommy today. I will try and post some summer pics. And not let another year go by with out an update!
2 comments:
I really admire you as a person.
You do have very admirable qualities... You are selfless, considerate and comapssionate. I like how you can make any situation comfortable, regardless of the new and unfamiliar people involved; you're a great conversationalist. No matter what personality type is at the table, I see you blending and even going as far as assuring their comfort as well... I also see a wonderful mother in you; very patient. You don't seem to mind being a jungle gym for your babies to climb all over. In addition you are a miracle who is selfless enough to house babies for others.
I'm somewhat of a critical person. It's often times not a good thing, but I can't always help it. You are a rare person who I see nothing but beauty in, inside and out. It's quite the breath of fresh air, really...
I look forward to spending more time with you and your family, as well as digging into more of your writing! Writing is gooooooooood! ;)
Tara I miss you! You're an amazing wife, mommy and person!! You'll do great in school, and when I'm up there next time need YOU to make me hot!
:) Love you all,
Beth
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